WASHINGTON—According to a new study released by the National Research Council on Monday, the majority of Americans no longer have the energy required to stand while brushing their teeth. “Exhausted from the stress of being alive, more than half of U.S. residents now lack the vigor and zeal a person needs to remain on their feet while performing this 90-second task,” said study co-author Margaret Hollingworth, whose research found that 56% of the nation’s adult population did not brush their teeth while standing unassisted in front of the mirror, up from 40% only a decade ago. “Of this group, 18% prefer to lean back on the toilet, 15% sit on the edge of the tub, and 20% find that their legs unexpectedly buckle under the effort of standing for more than a minute, forcing them to complete their brushing while sprawled out across a dirty bathroom floor. Another pattern we’ve identified is that more and more Americans are choosing to leave the bathroom all together and find a comfier place such as an armchair, a sofa, or even their beds, where they brush their teeth while lying down and staring at the ceiling fan.” Hollingworth later added that what really mattered was that the population was still making an effort to brush their teeth at all.