I’ll be damned if I’ll forgive that xXxXz. He/she doesn’t deserve to be forgiven for the dastardly deeds done to me and/or others. She/he should be boiled in oil and sent to rot in hell for all eternity.
So there!
Trouble is, the person being damned isn’t the receiver, it’s the sender who is allowing unforgiveness to eat away at his/her very soul. Ouch!
You probably have had someone do something to you or a close loved one that fits the above punishment. In fact, something far worse would be appropriate for some people that come to mind.
I can think of dozens, and I don’t know any of them personally.
Some people like to speak over and over again at the beginning of public meetings and demand “appropriate” punishment for those who have done dastardly deeds that are “unforgivable” in their opinion. That’s not good for them because it seems to consume them. They’re the ones who are impacted, not their targets.
They are not by any stretch of the imagination, the only ones impacted by holding on to grudges and unforgiveness. It’s epidemic in our society including in Loveland.
A wise guy I know from Cleveland reminded me this past weekend that when I get really angry, I have the tendency to lose perspective and over emphasize the negative. What does he know? The truth!
I love to awfulize about the bad behavior of others when they get away with their dastardly deeds. I get mad, my blood pressure rises, and my head aches. That’ll show them! Show who? Me that’s who! Oh no!
When I shame or don’t forgive others, I’m saying I’m better that they are. I’m judging me superior and them messed up.
That’s not a healthy Jesus way of thinking.
I need to have the courage to be imperfect because I am, just like everyone else.
Unforgiveness is one of the biggest problems facing us in Loveland, including in our churches. Sometimes we like to elevate our holiness and shame people who aren’t as holy as we are. “When you reach my level of spirituality, then you will be holy and worthy like I am.” That’s full of holes and is spiritual nonsense.
Carl reminds us that sometimes what we dislike or hate in others is actually what we dislike or hate in ourselves. They may be behaviors that haven’t been dealt with and healed so we are extra sensitive to them. I point one finger at them while three are pointed back at me. Ooops!
When I’m really angry at somebody, hold a grudge against someone, have anger I can’t get rid of, it’s really not that person’s fault. I need to ask myself and God where I’m not receiving his healing grace, because where I’m not receiving grace is where I withhold grace from other people.
The problem is not with the other person; it’s inside of me. When I’m harboring resentment and unforgiveness, not giving somebody the grace, kindness and forgiveness they need, that is a hello that I have blocked the forgiving grace of God in that area of my life. That’s disastrous for each of us.
God, please knock my block off so I can receive your healing grace.
There are two ways to approach the issues related to unforgiveness.
One is to handle them yourself by deciding to change your mind and think positive. Experience says that isn’t very effective. You can get help from a trusted friend or therapist, and/or ask God to help you with any of the above. Being weak, I take all the supernatural help I can get for healing and emotional freedom.
Since unforgiveness hurts me, It’s in my best interest to forgive others who have hurt me. I don’t minimize or excuse their behavior. I move on allowing God’s love and grace to heal my hurts and take away my pains.
You can,too! Have faith in God! God’s love is unconditional to those who seek him and call him their Lord.
Don’t let injustices eat away at your soul. Accept God’s healing grace.
Bless your soul. Be all that you can happily be with love as your guide.
John A. Tindall is a longtime Loveland resident and a former psychologist who serves his community as a PTSD Peacemaker and prayerful friend.
