From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
War!!!
The latest from Colbertone News:
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Time to donate to the tire drive, plant your victory garden, install your blackout curtains and, above all...BUY BONDS!!!
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, September 18, 2019
Note: Don’t forget that you can follow me on twitter at @BillinPortland. And, five seconds later, after you realize you’ve made a grave error in judgment, don't forget that you can un-follow me on twitter at @BillinPortland.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Scorsese's The Irishman with DeNiro, Pacino, Keitel and Pesci arrives in theaters: 70
Days ‘til the 47th annual Warrens Cranberry Festival in Wisconsin: 9
Number of Democratic candidates in last week's debate who saw a bump in their popularity, according to a new Morning Consult poll of Democrats: 1 (Warren—2 points)
Elizabeth Warren’s support among Democrats in April and September, respectively, according to the same poll: 7%, 18%
Size of Bernie Sanders' affordable housing policy that will "expand public housing, increase affordable housing options and cap annual rent increases nationally": $2.5 trillion
Number of days as of Sunday that Trump has spent at one of his properties: 300
Years since Star Trek: The Motion Picture was released: 40
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 5 plagues and 1 infamous Midwest FurFest reject). Soul Protection Factor 2 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: And now an important message from Luke Skywalker…
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CHEERS to channeling your inner champion for change. Elizabeth Warren rounded up a few of her closest friends—at least 20,000, according to reliable estimates—and gave a barnburner of an anti-corruption speech in New York City Monday night.
Perhaps the boards from the farm of FDR's legendary Secretary of Labor Francis Perkins, which were used to build Warren's podium (a gift from Perkins' family), helped channel her call for the return of our democracy to We The People. And on that score she could scarcely have picked a better role model:
When, in February, 1933, President-elect Roosevelt asked Frances Perkins to serve in his cabinet as Secretary of Labor, she outlined for him a set of policy priorities she would pursue:
[A] 40-hour work week; a minimum wage; unemployment compensation; worker’s compensation; abolition of child labor; direct federal aid to the states for unemployment relief; Social Security; a revitalized federal employment service; and universal health insurance. She made it clear to Roosevelt that his agreement with these priorities was a condition of her joining his cabinet. Roosevelt said he endorsed them all, and Frances Perkins became the first woman in the nation to serve in a Presidential cabinet.
From her earliest days in the Roosevelt cabinet, Frances Perkins was a forceful advocate for massive public works programs to bring the nation’s unemployed back to work. Within a month of Roosevelt’s inauguration, Congress enacted legislation establishing the Civilian Conservation Corps, which Roosevelt asked Perkins to implement.
And not to brag, but…I must. It's a state law:
Frances Perkins was born Fannie Coralie Perkins in Boston in 1880, but her roots were in Maine. … She is buried alongside her husband, Paul Wilson, in the Glidden Cemetery on the River Road in Newcastle, Maine, a short distance from the Brick House, the place she always considered her home.
On Warren's schedule for the rest of the week: persisting as usual.
JEERS to Round 1. The Trump impeachment investigation got underway yesterday with the fierce interrogation of Corey Lewandowski by the New Avengers of the House Judiciary Committee. Below is a transcript of the entire hearing:
Judiciary Committee Democrats: This hearing is in session.
Judiciary Committee Republicans: Loopy loopy doopy! Flibbity floo and boo on you! We are Trump's bitches and y'all can go f*ck yourselves. We cede the rest of our time to Mr. Putin via Skype.
Lewandowski: I agree! And I'm running for Senate! Go to my web site!
Judiciary Committee Democrats: Mr. Lewandowski, on page 92 of the Mueller Report you told investigators that…
Lewandowski: I told investigators—and I QUOTE—One foot, two foot, red foot, f*ck you foot! I'm Corey Lewandowski, I'm running for Senate, and I approve this message and punching all you socialist tards in the junk!
Judiciary Committee Republicans: MAGA!!!
Judiciary Committee Democrats: We're adjourned.
On to Round 2!
CHEERS to famous firsts. Seventy-one years ago, on September 18, 1948, Margaret Chase Smith from the GREAT STATE OF MAINE became the first woman elected to the United States Senate—without completing a term started by another senator—when she beat Democrat Adrian Scolten. Her campaign slogan makes me wonder if it wasn’t the inspiration for Eisenhower’s “I Like Ike” four years later: "My Sentiments Are With Margaret Chase Smith."
It also made her the first woman to be both a U.S. representative and senator, and in 1964 she became the first woman to have her name placed in nomination for president. She came in second. Or as the menfolk in the modern GOP like to say: "As it should be."
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Investigative journalist Scott Stedman asks: Is this a good time to remind everyone that the government of Saudi Arabia owns the entire 45th floor in Trump Tower?
Yes.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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JEERS to uninvited guests. Guess who's coming to dinner? Thanks to climate change, the Maine coast appears to be the new Sandals Resort for a breed of humungo sea creature (five feet wide, up to 100 feet long) known as the lion's mane jellyfish:
[B]eachgoers say larger than average ones have been exceptionally plentiful this year in the gulf, which touches Maine, two other states and two Canadian provinces. […]
Unlike other jellyfish common off Maine, they’re not entirely translucent. In the water, they resemble a drifting fireball, and when washed on land they can collapse into a mess that resembles a bloody crime scene. […]
[T]he Gulf of Maine is warming faster than most of the world’s oceans, and the jellyfish can grow faster in warmer water.
We'd complain about their arrival, but they're more polite than the tourists from Massachusetts and they tip better.
CHEERS to notable promotions. On September 18 in the year 335, Dalmatius was raised to the rank of Caesar by his uncle Constantine I. Historians believe Constantine had a bad case of the flu at the time. When asked out of concern what his temperature was, he responded: "101, Dalmatius."
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 18, 2009
CHEERS to George W. Bush's very, very, very bad week. Well, let's take them in order, shall we? First, President Obama is basically scrapping Bush's European missile defense "shield" in favor of a leaner, meaner, faster-acting missile grid. Second, Obama's EPA, paying attention to actual science, is moving to roll back wimpy Bush-era smog pollution standards and make them stricter. Third, Obama is replacing Bush's Committee on Ocean Policy with a beefier National Ocean Council. And last but not least, the Census Bureau drives a stake through any hope of a positive domestic legacy for #43:
On every major measurement, the Census Bureau report shows that the country lost ground during Bush’s two terms. While Bush was in office, the median household income declined, poverty increased, childhood poverty increased even more, and the number of Americans without health insurance spiked.
Nietzsche said, "What does not destroy me makes me stronger." I guess that explains why, after eight years of Bush, I can go outside anytime I want and bench-press a Buick.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to U.S. Mint'y freshness. The new America the Beautiful state quarter is here! The new America the Beautiful state quarter is here!!! The latest in the series, which celebrates our national historic sites, was released a couple weeks ago and represents the great state of Texas, specifically the San Antonio Missions National Historic Park. Artist Chris Costello calls the design "a modern-day pieces of eight." I think it’s one of the coolest of the entire series:
The San Antonio missions were among the largest concentrations of Spanish missions in North America, and [helped] create the foundation for the City of San Antonio. The design of the coin depicts elements of the Spanish Colonial Real coin. Within the quadrants are the symbols of the missions:
- Wheat symbolizes farming
- Arches and bell symbolize community
- Lion represents Spanish cultural heritage
- Water represents irrigation methods and life-sustaining resources of the San Antonio River
Uh oh. An Hispanic design on American money. That sound you hear is Donald Trump ordering a lackey to throw chairs across the room for him as he vows to build a big, beautiful wall around the U.S. Mint.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“Of course I would like to return to Cheers and Jeers. But if I’m going to spend the rest of my life in the kiddie pool, then one bottom line demand that we all have to agree to is at least I get candy corn.”
—Edward Snowden
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