“The Bachelor” returned for Week 3 on Monday and, let’s be honest, it was a pretty boring episode. It feels like we got four hours of the Sydney vs. Alayah feud despite the episode only being two hours long.
For the uninitiated, the feud went like this: Sydney takes issue with pageant queen Alayah’s seemingly “fake” and “rehearsed” personality, brings it up to Peter and causes a ripple effect of drama that spreads through the entire house.
It’s far from novel content for this show. The “not here for the right reasons” face-off happens every season, and this wasn’t any different or more compelling than the previous ones, other than the fact that it was longer. The producers clearly didn’t have a ton of content to fill two hours with. Remember that three-hour premiere? Maybe spread the wealth a bit next year, ABC.
Other than that, the rose ceremony was dramatic and left a big cliffhanger (is Alayah really gone?), but wasn’t enough to save the hours of feuding that we didn’t need to see. We also got a group date where the women dressed in lingerie and had a pillow fight with commentary from host Chris Harrison and actor Fred Willard because … sports? Either way, on that note, it’s time to get into this week’s power rankings. (Catch up on last week’s rankings here.)
As a reminder, contestants will be ranked strictly on their performance in the competition. Great dates, early roses or memorable antics will earn them points, while bad dates, drunken tantrums and unnecessary conflicts will cause them to slide.
1. Madison
Last week’s rank: 1
Madison is on camera for about two minutes, and she spends all of that time about 2 inches from Peter’s face. We can safely say the good mojo from the first two weeks is still there.
2. Victoria P.
Last week’s rank: 4
Victoria P. made her case as a solid favorite for the rest of the season. Her one-on-one date starts out with line dancing and some less-than-riveting conversation (“That was so much fun.” “Did you like that?” “Yeah, I did. I was pretty nervous!”), but it’s clear they are into each other. Victoria gives the classic “I didn’t expect to feel the way I feel so soon” speech (does every Bachelor/Bachelorette contestant say it 10 times in a mirror when they wake up every morning?), and Peter says he might have found his “dancing partner for life.”
They go to a hangar (pilot reference!) for the Reveal Your Trauma Over Champagne and Cold Chicken portion of their date, but Victoria has some very real trauma and gets emotional talking about having to take care of her sister as her mother fell into addiction. Peter puts on a serious face and tells a story about talking to God and seeing a shooting star, which I guess Victoria factors into somehow? Anyway, he says he has “never been inspired by someone so much” in his life, gives her the rose and she picks her “favorite” plane in the hangar (which happens to have a camera in it), in which they make out.
At multiple points, Victoria tells the camera that she’s “falling in love” with Peter, so expect her to get her heart broken and come in second or third.
3. Hannah Ann
Last week’s rank: 2
Hannah Ann had a bit of an interesting night with words. We pick up on the back end of #ChampagneGate as she and Kelsey speak about the incident, and Hannah Ann refers to it as a “fanasco.” Then she accuses Kelsey of calling her a “b-word.” You are 23 years old. You are allowed to use swear words.
4. Kelley
Last week’s rank: 3
Kelley, the “Prosecutie” as dubbed by announcers Willard and Harrison, gets the rough end of Tammy’s illegal pillow fight move. After a chat, Peter says, “She’s an attorney, she’s very, very smart,” because, blanket statements.
5. Sydney
Last week’s rank: 5
There is a very clearly defined top four right now, and the field is a bit muddled after that, so Sydney gets the fifth spot by virtue of winning her battle with Alayah. But her path to the group date rose is a little odd and flies in the face of both logic and what usually happens on this show.
She starts with a series of camera testimonials talking s–t about Alayah, leading to a final pillow fight battle that is completely random and not at all staged by producers. (“Show me you want it!” Peter yells from the side, a totally normal thing for a man to say in his totally normal date where he watches eight half-naked women pillow fight for his affection.) Sydney later confronts Alayah for being “rehearsed,” then decides to cut out the middleman and takes her issue directly to Peter, claiming she’s “different” from all of these other girls.
This is usually a fatal strategy. When people go to the Bachelor or Bachelorette with their inter-contestant drama and make it their case to “protect” them, it almost always backfires. Most Bachelors and Bachelorettes will recognize that feuding with others in the house is a sign that the tattler’s focus is not in the right place, but, for some reason, Peter loves it. He then puts Sydney on the spot to call out the unidentified “fake” individual and she obliges by naming Alayah. He then gives her the group date rose. It eventually culminates with Alayah being sent home (for now), so it was a great move in regard to these rankings, but I’m not sure her dismissal was totally fair. More on that later.
6. Tammy
Last week’s rank: 7
Tammy gives zero f–ks and it’s just phenomenal. A member of her high school wrestling team, she was born for the pillow fight group date. So what does she do? She savagely tackles Kelley and gets eliminated from the activity immediately. Later, she worries that Peter might think of her as a bro, but Peter responds by kissing her and saying “I don’t do this to my bros.” Between this, putting Sydney on the spot and his comments while watching the pillow fight, Peter was a pretty huge weirdo in this episode.
7. Natasha
Last week’s rank: 8
Man, I don’t know where to rank anyone else, since nobody talks in this episode besides Sydney and Alayah. Let’s put Natasha here. Why? I don’t know. Leave me alone.
8. Lexi
Last week’s rank: 9
OK, Natasha says one thing: that Sydney was “not wrong” about Alayah. Lexi also says one thing: that Alayah is one of those people that can “turn it on for the cameras.” Dear producers: Please stop harping on a boring conflict and tell us something about these women, so we can actually feel something other than apathy when they inevitably go home in two to three weeks.
9. Victoria F.
Last week’s rank: 12
She got a rose last week. We are eagerly awaiting the moment where she becomes the villain she is being hyped up to be because that certainly has not come to fruition yet. In next week’s trailer, we see her go on a date to a Chase Rice concert, who — in a total coincidence! — she previously dated.
10. Kelsey
Last week’s rank: 19
Kelsey got the first rose in the rose ceremony! Maybe she has completely recovered from the Champagne “fanasco.” She certainly didn’t do anything embarrassing or GIF-worthy in this episode that she will forever be associated with, right?
11. Mykenna
Last week’s rank: 6
Boy, it sure looked like Mykenna was going home there for a second, didn’t it? It comes down to her and Alayah for the final rose (after Harrison removed one), and usually when a controversial contestant is on the bubble, it goes to them and they stick around for another week. This scenario would have left Mykenna as the odd woman out, as she very nervously states in a testimonial intercut with the rose ceremony. But in a shocker, Alayah is sent home. We can either read into Mykenna getting the final rose or just assume she was going to get the one before, which wouldn’t mean much. For now, No. 11 seems like a good spot.
12. Kiarra
Last week’s rank: 13
I am not confident that Kiarra has said anything since her introduction. How are you going to let her stuff herself in a suitcase, then completely disregard her for three weeks?
13. Deandra
Last week’s rank: 14
OK, I know Deandra hasn’t said anything since her introduction.
14. Savannah
Last week’s rank: 17
She was the sole pillow fight contestant wearing a mumu while everyone else was in lingerie, and nobody explained why.
15. Shiann
Last week’s rank: 18
I might be unfairly docking Shiann, but she doesn’t do much in this episode, besides, uh, maybe punching Savannah in the face? Either way, we need to see more to move her up.
16. Alayah*
Last week’s rank: 10
OK. Alayah gets sent home, so she shouldn’t technically even be on these rankings. But we didn’t see her get in the limo to leave, and in next week’s trailer, we can see she’s coming back. It might just be for a Luke P. style confrontation that goes nowhere, but Peter clearly regrets sending her home, so there’s a chance she could rejoin the fray. For that reason, and to defend this woman’s honor, she’s in the rankings this week.
On the topic of her being “rehearsed,” it’s a pretty ridiculous reason to get sent home. First of all, she admits she can be a little bit “dramatic,” and it doesn’t seem like she’s doing it viciously. Second, and most importantly, it’s a TV show. Even more, it’s a dating TV show. Everyone is an enhanced version of themselves on the first few dates, and when you add cameras into the mix? It feels like sometimes the contestants forget how inherently bizarre the premise of this show is, and treat normal behavior that anyone would exhibit in that situation as grounds for execution.
What Alayah should have done is admit to Peter something along the lines of, “Look, I was in pageants, I am naturally going to ‘turn it on’ when the cameras are on. Plus, this is the damn ‘Bachelor.’ But that doesn’t mean I’m not here for you.” Maybe she shouldn’t have instructed Victoria P. to tell producers they don’t know each other. Still, contestants have done far, far worse and stuck around for far, far longer. So I am using this space to start the #JusticeForAlayah campaign, and I will die on this hill.
Eliminated: Alayah (maybe), Jasmine, Sarah, Alexa