43 Of The Funniest, Sweetest, And Most Badass "Princess Bride" Quotes

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.

Westley: Give us the gate key.

Yellin: I have no gate key.

Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.

Yellin: Oh, you mean this gate key.  

Vizzini: Inconceivable!

Vizzini: He didn't fall? Inconceivable!

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Buttercup: You mock my pain.

Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.  

Man in Black: Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?

Fezzik: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.

Prince Humperdinck: I always think that everything could be a trap, which is why I’m still alive.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, ‘As you wish,’ what he meant was, ‘I love you.’ And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Grandson: A book?

Grandpa: In my day, television was called ‘a book.'

Vizzini: Finish him your way.

Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you. Vizzini...what's my way?

Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder. In a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend. The minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock.

Fezzik: My way's not very sportsman-like.  

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Man in Black: You're that smart?

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Man in Black: Yes.

Vizzini: Morons.  

Miracle Max: Beat it, or I'll call the Brute Squad.

Fezzik: I'm on the Brute Squad.

Miracle Max: You are the Brute Squad.

Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt — no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.

Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?

Westley: Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

*Westley gets attacked by an R.O.U.S.*

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?

Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Inigo Montoya: Offer me money.

Count Rugen: Yes!

Inigo Montoya: Power, too, promise me that.

Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please...

Inigo Montoya: Offer me everything I ask for.

Count Rugen: Anything you want.

Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a bitch.

Westley: This is true love. Do you think this happens every day?

The Ancient Booer: Boo!

Westley: Why won't my arms move?

Fizzik: You've been mostly dead all day.

Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the pain.

Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.

Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it.

Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Prince Humperdinck: I think you're bluffing.

Westley: It's possible, Pig; I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again...perhaps I have the strength after all.

*Westley stands and raises his sword to Humperdinck*

Westley: Drop...your...sword.

*Humperdinck drops his sword*

Vizzini: You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic landmass!

Vizzini: You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.

Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait till I get going!

Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong. That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned. You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders — the most famous of which is, "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" Hahaha—

*Vizzini dies*

Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.

Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsman-like. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.

Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?

Fezzik: I could kill you now.

Man in Black: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.

Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.

Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped.

Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, then you haven't got anything.

Grandson: Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports?

Grandson: Is this a kissing book?

Grandpa: Wait, just wait.

Grandson: Well, when does it get good?

Grandpa: Keep your shirt on, and let me read.

Grandpa: Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The end.

The Impressive Clergyman: Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us together today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wuv, true wuv, will follow you forever, so tweasure your wuv.

Grandson: Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.

Grandpa: As you wish.